


Better Ways to Give You Up

by plusshippingandhandling



Series: Better Ways [1]
Category: Psych, Psych USA
Genre: F/M, Post-Episode: s07e01 Santabarbaratown 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-27
Updated: 2015-10-27
Packaged: 2018-04-28 13:16:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5092160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plusshippingandhandling/pseuds/plusshippingandhandling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set after the events of Santabarbaratown 2, Shawn confesses to Juliet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Better Ways to Give You Up

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Psych. All rights go to Steve Franks and USA network and whoever else.

The precinct was still abuzz, despite the late hour, as a result of the high-profile bust. Officers were running back and forth, processing every last criminal. A federal case closed by two of their very own, an off-duty cop and her wayward psychic boyfriend with a penchant for danger. They were all very proud. The fact that they got to save the disdainful federal agent was just icing on cake. After he finished giving his statement, Shawn pulled Juliet into the empty conference room.  
“Look Jules, there is something I need to tell you. If the events of today have proved anything is that I can trust you. And the more I realize this, the more it hurts me that you can’t say the same about me. You might think you trust me, but after this, I’m not sure you’ll feel the same way. And that is entirely my fault.”

“Shawn, I—”

“Please don’t say anything, because I know that if I don’t say it now, I’ll chicken out. And you may find out in the worst way possible.” He pressed a lingering kiss to the corner of her mouth, just as she had done years earlier, as if to say goodbye. Then, with a deep breath he began, “I lied. Okay, I lied. I told you back in Vancouver; it’s what I do. But I don’t want to do that anymore, especially not to you. I was afraid I would lose you, but that doesn’t matter anymore. Whatever happens, I am finally ready.”

“I was scared, Jules. I was terrified. This all started out as self-preservation. First I was scared of going to jail, again, only this time I couldn’t blame my dad. I had to think of something, anything to stay out of that cell. Lassiter ordered Officer Allen to book me; I noticed that she was very superstitious. I took a shot.”  
“Shawn, what are you trying to say?”

“None of this,” he gestured exaggeratedly to his temple, “is real. I am not a psychic. I was brought into interrogation because I called in a tip. Multiple tips, actually. Tips that closed cases. I got sloppy; this one case was just a little too high profile to go unnoticed by SBPD’s head detective. Lassie wasn’t willing to believe that an amateur detective could read guilt off 5-minute tv interviews better than his officers could in person. The information was just a little too good. So good, he had said, that it could have only come from the inside. He accused me of colluding with the thief. He was two minutes away from throwing me into a holding cell when I blurted it out. I made a few passing observations: McNab had a wedding coming up; Lassie and his partner were doing it on the dl; Officer Allen was obsessed with her dead grandmother. Still wasn’t enough to convince him. So I tipped him off on a suspect I met in the lobby. The guy busted up his ex-wife’s car; the shards of taillight in his left boot were a dead giveaway. It checked out, and I was free to go. I practically ran out of there, until then-Interim Chief Vick stopped me outside. She needed a miracle (or a facsimile of one) to earn the permanent position, so she put me on a kidnapping case.”

“Are you telling me this is all a lie?”

“No. My methods may not have been what I claimed them to be, but the results are real, and they’re good. I’ve had over 57 jobs since I left high school, and none of them could hold me down for more than 3 months at a time. I tried my best to run away from my earlier life and everything I felt my dad forced me into. But crime-solving was one part of me I could never fully shut off. Everywhere I went, I noticed things, my dad practically programmed me that way. I solved the case of the missing hotdogs while driving the weiner mobile. I discovered that the manager of the winery was selling glorified grape juice in place of thousand year old liqueur. But mostly I realized that I had become exactly who my father wanted me to be, minus the degree and the career path. The worst thing was, I really enjoyed it but I had burned every reasonable way of using my talents. So when the opportunity arose, I jumped at the chance. And by the time you came along, it was so much fun. Jules, I more than like you. In fact, I recently came to the conclusion that I actually love you. And that thought scared me, because now I had something to lose. I never wanted to lie to you Jules, never to the woman I love. Falling in love with you was never the plan. Every time you save my life, and you have saved my life in more ways than I can count, this lie eats me up inside. I told myself it was only one lie, but it’s a huge one, and it has a lot of little lies wrapped up in it. But I am done making excuses for myself. This isn’t about just me anymore, it’s about how I feel about you. I never want to hurt you. It kills me that I already have, when all I want to do is protect you.”

Juliet was definitely furious, but for some reason she lost the ability to form words. She felt like none of this was happening to her, she was merely observing it. She felt like she was watching one of her mom’s sappy soap operas. Her favorite character just found out her boyfriend was lying to her ... and he had the nerve to break up with her. She was fuming. But, just like a soap opera fan, all she could do was throw her remote at the little screen in her mind. After all, this show was pre-recorded and the writing was already on the wall.

“I know this is a lot, but after my dad got shot I was reminded again that the people I love will not always be there. And every moment I keep up this charade cheapens that love. We never have as much time as we think we do. I want to live what time I have with you honestly. I hope you can forgive me, but I understand and I support whatever choice you make. I know you will need some time to process everything, you will probably need some space. I just want you to know that I never lied about how I felt about you. I love you Juliet, purely and ardent— ardourly... with ardour?— scratch that. I love you a lot. And please don’t take any of this out on Gus or my dad. They had nothing to do with it. They were roped into it, just like you where.”

And with that, he walked off. Juliet stood for a minute, completely shocked. Then she excused herself to her car, and cried.

* * *

When she finally got home, Juliet was bone tired. And it wasn’t because she just took down a whole crime syndicate. It was the kind of tired you can only be after a good long cry. And she had been crying. The tears stains on her face could attest to that. She couldn’t be bothered to follow her regular routine. Luckily, she wasn’t wearing any makeup. She quickly changed into some pajama pants and a night shirt before throwing her pantsuit over her chair. She lay on top of her covers and willed sleep to take her. But it wouldn’t come. She was plagued by a single thought. God dammit Shawn Spencer, I love you. And in that moment she knew she had already forgiven him.


End file.
